Think Holiday Thoughts

I'm happy.

I feel like shouting this from the rooftops. Happy, happy, HAPPY! It's a week till Christmas and work is at its busiest since I started 6 months ago. This month's daily rhythm has been Wake Up with Alarm, Commute/Sleep on Train, Work Over 12 Hours, Commute Home, Prepare for Bed, Set Alarm, Sleep, wash rinse repeat.

I don't feel Christmasy. Past Christmases I forced myself into good Holiday cheer with Christmas songs, Christmasy movies, lots of decorations and staring at the lights on the tree till I went cross-eyed. This year I have one tiny tree I bought at the 100 yen store on my desk (it's lopsided and tilted to one side, giving it a drunken look) and an Advent Calendar on my computer that Daddy got me. I listen to loud, grating, non-holiday music in the mornings and evenings, Love Actually is the only traditional Cmas movie I've seen, and have bought exactly one present and three cards so far.

I'm just... simply... enthralled with life. I find myself grinning at random moments, like a complete retard, just because living and breathing is so awesome right now. It's entirely coincidental that this is happening when it is, I know it's not simply because it's the season to by jolly etc. etc. But I could label it as the Christmas spirit. Why not? Because maybe this is what the Christmas spirit is meant to be. Just... pure joy, a thrill up and down your spine everytime you breathe deep through your nose and realise that your life kicks ass.

This is the feeling I was wishing for, in years past. I don't have the feeling of home and family this year like I did before, true. There are moments when I'm so lonely I feel like packing a bag and escaping back to Saitama for a month, doing nothing but sleeping till 12 pm and watching bad TV shows all day. But loneliness is a part of Christmas, too, I think. It would be stranger for me to be completely satisfied with coming home to a plant in a room smelling of old coffee.

Where am I going with this? Nowhere. Just giving you a peek into my tired mind. In conclusion: My first Christmas as a semi-independent semi-adult is turning out to be a great one. How's your Christmas suiting you?