Snippet #3

As the post title says. Here's the third snippet. Not that anyone other than an annoyingly silent not-really-friend (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. SHAME. SHAME.) is reading them. But! A writer never gives up. Not even when they're behind on their word count because they were too busy watching Titan A.E. for the first time in like, 6 years with their younger sisters and swooning over Bill Pullman's character. (Did you know that the guy who voiced Timon of Pumba was in Titan A.E.? I DIDN'T. I also didn't know that both Joss Whedon and Ben Edlund, two of my favourite writers/producers ever, worked on it, although now that I do know it's become one of my favourite movies evah.)

Um. Anyway. So, without further ado...

***

Sounding like he was offering one of his limbs to be chopped off, Dougie mumbled, “I suppose we could skip the walking – to – every – house bit, if you think transporting us to each location would be fas-“

In a flash of colour, they were both standing in front of the next mansion. This one was made entirely out of a leather-like material.

“-ster.” Dougie finished, and then hacked a little. “Ugh! Tom, warn a guy next time!”

“Which guy?” asked Tom.

Dougie just threw up his hands and walked through the gate into the mansion’s front lawn. “I give up. You’re impossible to talk to. I don’t even know why I’m here with you. Why am I your friend anyway? I remember the first time I met you, I was stuck in an armored truck in my mortal form and you were supposed to rescue me but oh no, you insisted on helping the sexy enslaved Cherubim before you helped-“

Tom pressed a button next to the front door that had a sign over it that said “Press Me To Get In”. The sound of thunder could be heard from the inside of the house.

“-and I was stuck there with my sweaty demon-possessed captor that smelled of human urine and really overpowering body odour, just waiting for you like I’d been told to, but did you come on time? Well of course not, because you were too busy taking advantage of the fact that you’d been the knight in standard issue white robe for the damsel in distress –“

The door opened. The sight that greeted them shut Dougie up faster than anything Tom could’ve said. For a brief moment of shock, they stared in silence. Then Dougie found his tongue again.

“Tom? Tom, why is there a dragon staring at us?”
***